About — Dylan Hellems
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A few fun facts about myself

I love binge watching TV shows

I have a golden retriever named Harley Quinn

My favorite book is Jurassic Park

I can kind of play the guitar

I'm not a morning person

I can juggle and use a balisong

I play video games and board games like they are my life

I knew I wanted to be a software engineer before I had ever written a single line of code

  • “ On two occasions I have been asked [by members of Parliament]: 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question. ”
    — Charles Babbage
  • “ [Management guys] never understood the technical issues; and they thought that screaming was the way to make things happen. The computer didn’t care if it was screamed at. The power network didn’t care if it was screamed at. Technical systems were completely indifferent to all this explosive human emotion. If anything, screaming was counterproductive, because Arnold now faced the virtual certainty that Nedry wasn’t coming back, which meant that Arnold himself had to go into the computer code and try and figure out what had gone wrong. It was going to be a painstaking job; he’d need to be calm and careful. ”
    — Michael Crichton, Jurassic Park
  • “ Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live. ”
    — John F. Woods
  • “ 'So computers are tools of the devil?' thought Newt. He had no problem believing it. Computers had to be the tools of somebody, and all he knew for certain was that it definitely wasn't him ”
    — Terry Pratchett, Good Omens

What I've done & what I can do

If you would like to take the time to view my accomplishments over the years and what I would be able to do for you, please feel free to take a look at my resume.